02/23/2023

Dear Comfort. I tend to scurry from you, often. I’m putting energy into learning how to move forward without constantly apologizing. Deal with it. I do miss you. I rename you, rename you and rename you, over and over and over again. Let’s try dreaming again. Let’s imagine what it would be like to look back and not regret the steps we took to protect ourselves. Go ahead, tell me about and outline the steps I could have taken to harbor an environment worthy of sprouting roots in. Did you need me to initiate the conversation? Were you scared? Are you still scared? Would it have helped if I rolled up to your door, waited in the rain and hand-delivered handwritten letters folded up and packaged in square envelopes? Will it help to give you ways to find me? Do you know how to get ahold of me? Last I knew, you had everything you needed to get in touch with me. I have had the same routing numbers, cell number and mailing address for decades. If you’re open to trying new things, write me letters. You do not even need to send them. Draft appropriately a list of needs. Imagine me reading them and discovering exactly how to get through. Map a route that avoids landmines. Draw subtle landmarks on the corners of the pages. Let every rock, twig and stone be a confirmation for me. A bit of validation won’t hurt. Please, just guide me into my parking spot. I love docking the boat in deep enough water that I won’t break my neck jumping off starboard. I will practice inhaling while falling when it dawns on me to, maybe this is just vulnerability being new to me. Maybe the nervousness shows innocence. Hopefully, connecting the dots won’t take me until I reside in the ground. Maybe I’m supposed to feel uncomfortable, maybe this means it’s real. Maybe I should steal the peel so I can manage every time I slip over this unreal fortune. Maybe, the reeling of feelings is ludacris on purpose. Should I? Or shouldn’t? I would not like us never meeting on ease to be my fault. When I knock on the wrong door, I hope that’s actually where you are at. I hope you smile and say that you’re glad I found you.

On Poetizer

Script:

Hi Sarah!  It’s Kyle!  Excuse me feeling dapper and full of gusto.  I just got done with therapy.  We reviewed the athlete terms you sent me.  We do have a few questions.  We are going to type them up and work on that more next week.  

While he was here, we worked out with my bumper-plate enforced bar inside and outside.  The weather is beautiful outside.  Check out these pics!  Let’s chat soon!  Keep Pushing!