Ladies… Please

Ladies… Please..

From the bottom of my heart, help me, help us true gentlemen out a bit. We want to build you up.
If you tell us how to act or how to NOT ACT, we are going to listen to you. If your wishes are subject to change and/ OR you are truly starting to open your eyes to everything we are working to bring to you and lay at your feet, let us know. Do not come back at us for not knowing you changed your mind and actually now want that affection we endlessly gave you before we were warned.

You are doing yourself a disservice. Honestly, for me at least, with this ridiculous accusation-culture we live in, I’m not touching any of you. Count on that! And trust me, once you realize everything you’re not getting to experience – you’re going to regret encouraging me to distance myself. I don’t know how other people get by but for me once you voice your opinion and wishes, I’m going to respect them. Forgive me for feeling for you and sharing the best that I can.

When you open the door and I have yet to master reading your mind/ am still under the understanding that you are more than uncomfortable with me showing effort, I’m not going to assume anything that brings joy. Remember who acted like they were not ok with every single little thing extra I did. That was you. Sorry, but it was.

If you were to make your wants as obvious as what you didn’t want, we wouldn’t hold back. Especially knowing the respect earned for denying ourselves til that point. I know, or I feel at least, that without you waving me in (LITERALLY MAKING IT OBVIOUS), I’m still going to be biting my nails hesitating until the opportunity has passed.

If you see us intentionally creating distance
It’s because I am fearful you’re not as committed as me
This is no joke. I pry things open so they receive benefits. In my head I’m dope. I’m not choking with my output levels no kevs or trevs long balling these passes. I’m doing it for you and me. I think we need each other. I think we kid to share true feelings then be able to laugh it off. Actual communication would have helped.




  • 01/30/2020
    Hold my hands
    I’ve asked you from the start to help me, guide me, show me the way. You couldn’t you said because they threatened you. That’s a wall we could have helped each other over sweetie. That’s a sham if I ever heard one. Them being the bosses in our lives. Just try. Don’t ask me to come out if you’re not stepping into the flames with me. Byyyeee
    My emotions are all over the place and I love it. You cut the can open. I jumped out. Move.

    Blessed I’m singing karaoke and impressing the nation. You left and I moved. Again. Blessed.

  • 01/29/2020

    Draft One: 01/20/2020

    The River, The Current, Time, Bystanders and The Hurting
    Please don’t ever express I’ve kept you in the dark. Being open and receptive is at the core of vulnerability. I am the rock in every situation I see these days. Sturdy, grounded and resistant to expedient change.

    In my head, we are both neck deep in the life we seek. Now, I will not put all our forward momentum on you but if I do not feel you trying to help assist me downstream I will act a lot like Pinocchio’s strings and cut you loose. That’s a compact statement right there. Broken down, I am not the only one responsible for our happiness. The less I can name what you bring to the table, the more likely I am to move forward without you.
    It’s a phenomenal feeling to address the nation to tell them I’m moving. From the initial fitness and motivational quotes, to self talk motion to romantic fiction-like novels, I will pick up speed don’t you worry.
    Self-gloom and doom, no more. I’ll stretch the rules and bend them as I please. It’s all made up in my head, I think. Or is it?

    In my analogy at least, I’m the rock at the bed of the nearest stream and you are the water hugging me. I constantly think of and contemplate the smoothness and shine left behind when you leave me. I’m jiving on it. Great. They’ll find some urban dictionary definition they made up to get me in trouble. I follow the rules better than 1, 2, 3, all 3 of you. Confessing to me won’t help because I’ll get choked up every time I try to shout “YOU GOT ME!”


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