Being Creative and Trusting God

Hey Cheryl
I’m glad we got the chance to connect intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I had the rest in the palm of my hand but had no courage to follow through with the rest. I
could definitely have used a nudge in the right direction or just a wink.
I hate to think I stink in the interpersonal communications area but it was left up to me and I fell flat on my face when I shook my head no.
I was and am scared. I got no reassurance I was ever even allowed to look. Look forward to hearing from me is what I would have said if I were made comfortable being myself, being interested and being vulnerable like I was told to be.
I felt like the disproportionate amount of favor referred to would have lit the way.
Sharing progress even scared you. Me sharing that is. No socks. Deep talks. Eyes staring and irrational influences scaring me for they threatened me with jail cells and chained wrists. I couldn’t even reach you without shaking in my boots and biting my tongue. I
was never even given more than one chance after my rejection of you only mirrored you opening the door. 1 to 1. A 12 hour day 8 days a week and never a reply back because you were the victim. While I was out of pocket I got looked down on with no uplifting it’s ok I like to look at you too.
Arms open. Coffee boiling daily makes me realize if I knew you had me it would be a different situation. I cared. Which scared everyone else including me. I get looks still for showing my heart. How’d it feel holding the keys and never opening up more than a crack I could fit my I agree in. I could of had the world and then some but I lied. I tried the whole dam time to open up. Which I did better than ever before. I’m even setting current success on fire because I realize I’m a liar. I denied her. I retired her and the witness before. Both of which I cried for.
Styling. Wyling. Kyling. Call it according to my input. This rut. Cut. Big butt. Truck. Shut down. Clown. No sounds when you ask do you still love me. Dw I’ll come around. Too bad I’ll be talking to and working in my inbound

1 comment

  • Hey um WHEN I tell you I don’t like you or appreciate you like I once did, please let that go and love me harder. I have a lot of people making me feel bad for being fond of certain people.

    Also when I’m afraid to express myself I tend to RETRACT all affection, respect and mannerisms. Sorry.

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