PCLN,
You are a Pre-Cooked-Linguine-Noodle. I am a chef. I have big plans for you today. We’ll get into that later. Firstly, business. You were tested within the past few weeks. Did you stick it out? Did you HODL (Hold on for dear life)? I’m still waiting to hear back on that. Feel free to belt out a “Yes, Chef! I’m ready to move forward with the plan, and affirmatively get back to seeing through you harsh demeanor and furrowed brows.”
Sing my praises when you’re ready. I don’t enjoy assuming.
I’ll wait. Ok! Good! For today’s recipe, we’ll be making sweet linguine with a side of bratwurst. I thought you would have come prepared today but let’s advance this shuttle bus together. I’ll boil the water. Now, take a deep breath, the water is hot. I’ll slowly submerge you so it’s not too shocking. I will leave you in the boiling water for a few moments. I want you right between too hard and too soft.
In another pan, I will sauté the bratwurst sausage on medium high until cooked through, for about ten minutes. That aroma tickles me and the sizzling echoes make my ears smile. We SHOULD slice and cut the wurst into bite size chunks but I’ll leave that up to you. You might enjoy wrestling with longer wursts.
Next, we’ll add cream cheese and diced tomatoes, and reduce heat to low. I will stir constantly until the cream cheese melts. Chicken broth and spices ought to be added at this point. I will dump you into this saucy mixture and mix you completely.
When ready for consumption, I’ll escort you onto my plate. I can’t wait to dig in! I can imagine slurping your goodness in! I will dunk my roll in your sauces. “Oh my gosh, bon’ appetit!
I want to swim in your juices. Try confirming verbally, my sweet snack. I’m going to take any and all leftovers home to let my mind wander and experiment. Let me know that’s ok, please.
