What are your initial thoughts?
How are you reacting? Are you calm? Sad instantly? Scared? Frustrated?
Take your time. Give us a 2 or 3 paragraph in-depth take on how your new reality is making you feel. Entries will be shared from time to time.
Working Draft .1
For me, it wasn’t that long ago. No parts of my body were able to communicate with each other. I could not speak, let alone stop myself from drooling. Experiencing glimpses of “coming to” had me pondering fitness.
I was not able to open my eyes without a struggle. Maybe if I breathe fast, somebody will stop and explain this. I could hardly do that. Holding my breath did have the O2 sensors chiming. That was my first breakthrough, getting people’s attention and letting them read the frequency of my blinking eye(s) to translate option one vs. option two.
(Sidenote: Being brought out of a medically-induced coma comes in phases of consciousness for patient-safety. Having a clear state of mind, is not guaranteed at all.) Starting fresh is a bit more challenging when you can’t maintain a stable state of mind let alone one focus.
Dear Twilight,
I have written a lot of poetry in my life.
This is my first piece of poetic beauty directed at you.
Starting this poem is surely going to be a new notch in my belt.
I’ve dreamt of finding an open listener to cherish my words and value their meaning. I am very excited to have you on the receiving-end of my furious admiration and hooves-on-a-macadam-surface-sounding beating of my heart.
I rarely note my own weariness. Reminding me to slow my roll, by tapping my shoulder and giving me those eyes should help. I’ll be happy to admit gentle guidance would be a godsend. A simple “Go for it!” or “This is how we do it, on a Friday niiight..” Uh!! Give me that! I’m a freaking track horse frustrated by inability to get all these distractions out of my way! When I run you over, ask for more!
But, I’m not scared no mo…
🍯 Honey, I want to make you coffee in bed. I’m not used to being ahead of the pack this much..
FORGIVE ME WHEN I RUN SCARED FOR MY LIFE and push you away ay ay I want to trade your tears of sweat for dry ammunition and communication take care of the curtains falling. I want you yawning getting comfy in bed for me. I want you checking in, venting clearly where I can hear ya. I’m tired of feeling guilty for ruining lives of people I can’t even see. I think it’s all imaginary. Oh ya never mind.
02/10/2022 -First Homework Assignment :
“Mic,”
Thanks for the gentle nudge! I am very eager to jump in headfirst and gingerly explore the world of romance and defining what “love” can mean to me. I am nervous that I may be a bit too comfortable thinking I already know what I’m doing in life to remain open to new ways of thinking.
This week, my homework is to watch the first episode of “Love on the Spectrum.” This series starts by giving credit to the eagerness of individuals with autism to find true love. The first term I related to was “masking.”
“For many neurodivergent people, masking is a survival tool for engaging in neurotypical societies and organizations. Masking (also called camouflaging) is the artificial performance of social behaviors deemed more “socially acceptable” in a neurotypical culture.”
Neurodivergence is the term for when someone’s brain processes, learns, and/or behaves differently from what is considered “typical.” (lgbqt and all)
That’s a new word to me. I definitely fit into that class I’d say! My brain works way too fast and way too hard to be considered “typical.” I am not terribly afraid to identify my own strengths. I despise causing others discomfort, to the point I recede and take all my honest, heartfelt aspirations back and resort to defending myself when I don’t need to. People being nice and affectionate towards me leaves me nervous of overreactions.
Yes! You heard me! I am super excited to find a doll excited to uncover my strengths, compassion and loving heart without spoiling those meats leaving me subject to rascally opposers. Simply, showing me that hand holding is acceptable will change everything for me!