Keep it clean, kid!
This will be a collection of clips made to discover tolerance levels, ability to cope with my rate of flow, excite minds and get some stuff off my chest. Viewer Warning Appropriate Thanks! I love you for checking out my output!
They already can’t keep up!
Knowing the ropes, any mention of love or affection will get me hell on earth. Talking leads to trust. Trust leads to comfort. Comfort and energy lead to:
LOVE AND MARRIAGE!
Combined Stressors/ Energy Consumers
I, Kyle Keech LOVE everybody. That includes my supports, friends, family, you, lovers of Christ, opposition, anybody having a bad day, my future wife already, those who build me up, my doctors, my therapists, and those who encourage me not to be afraid. (and the rest of y’all!)
I am sick of feeling bad for sharing love, affection and energy. If YOU do not have anything nice (or constructive) to say, go dwell somewhere else. I could not be more thankful for my direction and progress. ✌🏻 I am eager to share my love and find a receptive partner in crime. If that’s you, I hope I hear from you soon! ❤️💪🥰
Love EVERYBODY as HARD AS YOU CAN!
I constantly feel berated, looked down on for, and in danger of bodily harm for looking at girls. That can’t be healthy. The fact that I deal with what I do now plus that pushback, and still make progress is remarkable.
Reality is… there’s a 90% chance I’m afraid to write your name down on a piece or paper or mouth words that rhyme with your name. Don’t blame me when I wait for you to reassure me. Communicating, without growling, yelling or scaring the sh!t out of me is crucial.
Tell these wangsters to stop “simply” reminding me there are boundaries I need to be mindful of. Especially, when they break rules and mandates daily.
For all the sh!t these supports do out of line, I look and feel like a saint. I’m afraid to be honest anymore because they don’t like to hear that. They’d rather hear me say “No, I hate people… EVEN THOUGH I AM DELIBERATELY WORKING TO SHARE ENERGY OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART!
Hey! ALSO! I did have something going on with that girl. You remember all those times she called and asked if I STILL LOVED HER!? F#ck! I’m sorry boo! I crawled up into a ball and protected myself from losing support, gaining even more b#llshit people trying to talk me off my clouds and headaches that hurt my head! LOVE YOU! ❤️
(Yea, toots ^ is the paper on my wall I wanted you to read!). I’m sorry I got into a fight or flight mindset. Constantly asking me the most basic questions even, frightened me.
I doubt you ever see these true expressions being expressed or get an hour or two to ever come see me when I don’t have to worry about the crew you roll with coming, my ancestors beating me up or where I feel supported developing true love. Bye!
Recap: You know how to and are able to find me. I’m at a complete loss there.
Most around me don’t even support me expressing these feelings privately and add to my insecurities daily.
I want to blow you kisses, daily. I want to feel supported sharing love/energy. I want to stop fearing my world falling apart at the seams for me doing me.
It’s laughable how I feel criticism from those encouraging growth is keeping me in therapy. (I feel I have more issues after working with certain people now than I did before putting development first).
If I didn’t enjoy the intentional backsliding, I’d call ‘em out for their negative energy.
“Hey Angel, I’m sorry I haven’t been as affectionate, infectious and strong for you as I’ve been in the past!” I’m actually dealing with MORE pushback than I did when I denied everything.
Open Communication Matters
“I’ve gathered I’m nervous. I’ve learned that I will protect myself and my progress, if I can’t rest assured I’m safe wanting. I feel I’m not asking for too much, honestly wanting ONE line of communication that serves my best interests. I feel that being spoken softly to will do everybody good. “Reassurement” would have spoken life, guilt free waves of love into me. I am ABSOLUTELY getting the third degree there without doing the deed so I cry bi-daily. That’s twice a day. My eyes water enough I could save all the little fishes I felt swimming through my blood.
Take care baby! I’ll send my energy to you still every 6 to 7 hours. I hope you feel comfortable swinging by like Tarzan or dropping in like it’s hot like MTV. Have a good week baby dollllll! Bye!”
You see, ma’am I’ve allowed hustlers, I feel to damage my field of vision. I always saw myself as the sweetest, most endearing, soft, loving version of a man I could be without cemented guilt from following my heart.
I still feel my intentional cuteness gets me in trouble, blasted and crossed off the list for the one thing I may need… mutual accountability. My eyes are watering here at 5:55AM. I DRANK ONE SMALL COFFEE.
Be upset about something I want to change up. Throwing grenades into my lane is f#ckin demoralizing to say the least. Especially when I over achieve as much as I do. I’ve been pushing harder than your whole crew/all of you. Yea, waving a red flag while my heads down will get you bulled over. Love me harder baby, please! My sleeves ought to be rolled up with grease dripping as I stand in your doorway, toots! I call em by her full name and use bull to address my girls. Dig that. Or get crossed off the page in my little black book.
(If you don’t let me show affection, energy or love there’s nothing left but disgust for you and every single person you roll with, toots!)
I am conscious of those who edit, feel they need to proofread my words of love and affection are subject to the undertoe. They fight being sucked into my loving embrace too. However, I’m the one that has to stop feeling that way, right!?
Most likely kitten,
I will be addressing you by numerous pet names. NOT communicating openly will defeat hopes of love working in our favor, it’ll leave me fighting with the hopeful in-laws, their walls will be higher than I’ve ever been, it’ll also leave me scared to death of showing these people how caring works.
Yesterday’s appointment led to a shaky reality, I’m still not made of steel I guess.
Doc Morgan performed several tests on my leg.
He gathered that I sprained my MCL and acutely tore my medial miniscus in my left leg.
More #gumdrops and #rainbows
No worries. “Bring it”
We iced prior to sitting up today. No pain. It feels great actually. When I’m sitting up or laying down that is. I can compensate with my right leg to stand straight even, but putting weight on it, without positioning my foot just right, sends harrowing, eye-lid flipping pain through my body.
I mentioned how I feel about how room to improve satisfies me yesterday.
Oh, you’re overwhelmed!?
That’s cute. Too bad you’re not in the scene to take this cross from my shoulders. It’s heavy. I do my best to work out as often as I can. My doctor showed me up, sharing he lifts 6 days a week with my grandfather and I.
If you remember, he and I trained together last year during the summer. That’s how I met him, he’s actually one of my trainee’s cousins.
GET IN MY LANE, if you want to benefit from this energy/Hope and LOVE!
Today, my counselor ignited the hope, again. She sees the longing, dedication and hard work I have been putting in.
She is not assuming the worst of me or leaving me so scared I retreat and cower.