12/05/2022

Listen, if I didn’t have to worry about all these other f#ckin people bashing my efforts to man up and be your everything, I would get down on one knee right now and tell you that I don’t know what I’m doing but I want to figure it out and work on myself with you by my side.  I hope I land on your list of things to be thankful for, as you top mine.  Tell me that I’m worth it. Tell me you got me. Tell me to be still. Reminding me to breathe will help. Holding my hands will help.  Eye contact, alone gives me jitters.

I’ve been afraid to admit to myself that you look a lot like that missing puzzle piece I’ve been searching for, for so long. Its 3am right now and expressing myself honestly like this has a huge smile on my face. 

Moving forward, when you see me seeking assurance, for the love of God, please just tell me I’m exactly where I need to be. Tell me you like how I fill your mind with turbulent winds. Tell me that you want to get closer. Suggest holding hands. 

Show me how things are done. Be MY teacher. Claim me. That will help me tremendously. I want to love you. I like you very much. I dream of holding your hand. That alone frightens me. I hope you hear me.

Recentering myself often results in poetic output.  That IS refreshing.  Intentionally “finding my poetic voice” sounds like fun to me!  I’m a sucker for love, straight up.  I hope this new environment supports that.  I’m usually too busy looking for ways to escape the haste, to put energy into who and what I’d like to.  Ladies, don’t keep yourself out of consideration by making simple things like communicating openly something I avoid to save my neck. (1)  Let’s start this day anew.  Let’s tell each other we care about each other immensely.  Let’s admit our long nights go by quicker imagining each other lying next to each other.  Fingers intertwined ought to be something we try.
I’m an old school lover!  Chivalry is my style.  I’ll walk a mile just to pick you flowers.  I am consistently the best option most of these torn souls have.  They just need to tell me how to move forward with making things work.

I fear opposition sitting on my chest restricting my breath.  I love panting while running through your head, stable baby.  I love hoping you’ll see my repressed affection and love is all for you, boo.  I don’t want the ball in my court any more.  I want to pass it to you and work towards the same goal.
Little do you know.. Or, is it that you fear the mockery of letting me be your man?  I want you to be my girl, I want to talk about going ring shopping, I want to do cartwheels walking down the aisle following a flower girl.  We should be dancing to Van Morrison already, my brown eyed girl.  We ought to show the entire world how it’s done.



I don’t trust myself enough to give you everything you deserve.  I don’t want you to have to settle for second best anything.  Breathe life into me, show me my worth, please.