“OK, Scrum! Don’t tell me you haven’t heard me!” I run a tight ship around here. Literature about proper conduct here on base has been abundant AND in print since I can remember when. “You better watch that lip, Bub. You’ll get it caught on a tripwire!”
Such aliases turning into pet names is likely. Don’t act like that’s not in the manual! We do not dwell. We liken the potential of there ever being an “us” to a dream, a potential to reach for, a more comfortable reality to hopefully get used to. We talk about being an item to shake down like a lightsaber. We take all the bull we both deal with and chuck deuces at it like a stump catching hatchets in the basement.
For our next showing, lay out the lab jacket so I can profess like a professor. I want to be listened to by a captive audience. I want patients lined up out the door seeking my expert advice. I want to be told to use my stethoscope to better hear and listen to your heart skip a beat every time you think about me. Have such control, I’m not left scared like a deer hearing a boom.
I want to throw a lasso around the moon, and pull so we no longer need to zoom in to find the parts of us we’re too shy to admit to. Let the tides add up to mass casualties to anyone thinking they’re that sure I must be up to no good. If they only understood, their mischievious tendency to doubt my good will doesn’t do anybody any good
I’m out here trying to carry all the needed bridges to connect all the dots single-handedly. I’m on my knees more or less pleading. “God, please..” “Remind ‘er that I’m stuck on her like a unfortunate rut in the road. Im revving this engine on full choke. I’m leaning into my drive shaft like it’s an investment I don’t ever want to leave alone.
I don’t wanna PASS GO! I wanna know that even if I misspell names to help my heart feel safe, you’ll hold my hand and lemme restart as many times as I got to to follow through. I plan on fulfilling all the promises of love, dedication and marriage.
Sometimes, I feel like a baby cub constantly being accused of starting forest fires I’m hardly comfortable mentioning names. How and why would you think I could recreate masterpieces like Van-Goh? Sure, I’ll paint a Reading Rainbow colored locket being ajar but I’ll resist holding it thinking it’s pictures of us side-by-side if that’s pushing it too far.
Tell me it’s all good! Tell me I misunderstood you dodging my calls, not finding letters addressed to me in my mailbox and feeling like I’d get tossed in juvie for loving you indescriminately. Try once, try twice, try 247 times to reach me before lunch time like I’ve done. Wear scrubs cleaning my home, announce that you’re here to clear my mind of doubts, fears and threats for letting up on the gas pedal without assuring it’s my ring on your finger. Please!
I’ll check my neighbors’ boxes just in case you’re out there trying to be covertly ahead of the game. Speaking of checks, this sh!ts outdated. I gotta KP and realize real eyes realize real lies. I gotta keep telling myself if she wanted me she’d lemme know. I gotta stay a bit more level-headed, stay hopeful and stay looking straight ahead of me.
That’s my task for days on end and it hurts my heart to eliminate paths not ready to stabilize me. “I’m out here!” #Comeandgetme !!!