Listen “LilyPad,”

Firstly, thanks for the jumping off point today! Sure, I’m sensitive to individuals potential and freewill. You wanna stay in, dwell over and put your clenched fists up when you hear opposing views? Do you.

I couldn’t be happier to stay in my lane right now. Don’t let slips of the tongue ruin your evening (punk)! I, Kyle Keech (the poet, the investor and the physical trainer) am proud and dignified in my efforts and follow through to create a “simplified” life for a Mrs. and I.

I have “The Rise of Jordan Peterson” on Netflix playing in the background while vile rap lyrics litter the earbuds I have plugged in. It’s a special based on a professor’s take on the whole freedom to regulate pronoun use. I’m over it, don’t worry. I’ll call you a giraffe if you want me to.

Friends and “fans” will gladly admit they’ve witnessed the work I’ve put in since the time you were probably in diapers. I WILL also apologize to you personally if that’s what you want. I’m sorry I feel good about my pure intentions to raise the bar on we humans as a whole!

Dry your eyes, dawg! Get out of your head! Stop taking offense to everything! “I heard I’m not the type for you, bugeyes!” Cool, you stay over there. Lock that door as you back into the closet too. I will apologize for being insensitive to your life. I do not know you from Adam! I just want to recommend you being mindful of a real man’s priorities.

I’m fine admitting that I love the fact that metal detectors at my airport ring sensing the huge amount of bling I wear at any time of day. Stay in your lane, pup! I’m George Jetson flying high, bud. Astro, boy Elroy, or that cutie, Pebbles.. Let’s get this straight. Tell me how to address the mess that tried to shame me, hm!?

Stay washing the windows of my Benz, towel boy. I might call you up to the game next time I need a caddie!


(I did not yell, humiliate or call out people here. I poked fun at some individuals’ thin skin OUT OF LOVE!) Bye!

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