My legs, tired at the moment. My smile, soft. My charismatic, enthusiastic, dapper, casual personality, exhausted. The fact that I just got out of bed, and I can already, hardly move my arms is kind of scary.
I hope this coffee does the trick. It helps me to recall I always have trouble standing, let alone walking in my slippers.
Believe me, if I weren’t as headstrong as I am, weren’t as stubborn as I am and I weren’t holding myself on this side of collapse this much I’d be a total puddle of limbs on the floor.
Enclosed Expressions: (Caution to the faint of heart)
God, Thank You for seeing me through my weakest times. I put you first as much as I can.
Friends, Thank You for HODL’ing while I mutter, mismanage and let FUD take too much away from my reality.
(“HODL’ing” – Holding On For Dear Life. “FUD” – Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt)
At least I leveled up! Yes, I may have/ most certainly have taken advantage of/ am leaning into my tendency to take a breather after breaking a fresh ALL TIME HIGH. I’ll force relaxing if I have to! It’s all a mindset! BUT, anyone looking is about to need a neck brace because I’m always lacing my output with occasional trajectory that’ll break your neck.
WHEN I see the course in front of me littered with chaos mostly self-initiated, I’ll regret letting anyone else carry this weight on their back. I can hardly manage all the momentum and movement, I can’t expect people that don’t need to deal with that calamity to handle it with such care.
“I’m feeling okay! It feels like cinderblocks are taped to my soles. I’ll push relentlessly.”
I cannot wait til “she” greets me at the door, excited to see me come home from work AND leave to head to work early in the morning.
Maybe, she’ll even gasp for air just noticing me pulling into the driveway. Sensing that thrill will have me smiling through the pain. I’ll keep her a secret too! Live in love!
Moving on with my day includes mixing a protein shake, wrecking the foundational build up at the gym and dancing it all off. I am breathing through being found guilty of leaving her on her knees begging for a reprieve, this morning. I’m going to count that as a slam dunk. #kissme before you #missme, toots!
I’m more than okay with only being the reason she dances in her room by herself. At least “she’s” smiling! Stay in your lane, Keech!
“I can’t wait to see ya again, Mur’l” I want to twirl ya into infinity. I look forward to you reminding me what and where I can call you. I’ll tell you what.. I’ma stay doing me, building us a future, learning how to tango and murdering all expectations you had of what a real man can do with his time, energy and love when he feels free of caps and critiques. Mama, I love to learn! Teach me!