03/29/2021
This morning, Mom and I had a talk about stress. A lot of people face issues trying to appease everybody. We touched on acknowledgement and validation. We talked about/ I mentioned that I am the common thread in maybe a bit too many running conversations/ dramas/ crises.
Stress is amplified for everybody right now. I probably don’t know enough about handling stress. I tend to simply remove myself from stressful situations. If I do that now, people don’t work, people don’t get paid… a lot of people get hangry.
Stressors
1. People not being on the same page
a. Intentionally work on advocating for my goals
b. Family can communicate: open to contradicting viewpoints.
c. Just because my viewpoint is different from my sisters does not mean my viewpoint is wrong.
d. Have both sides write down their goals / expectations.
e. Hold each other accountable – if something is asked of you there needs to be follow through.
2. Not being heard
a. I want to be asked how I feel about situations.
b. Receive too much push back.
c. When I express my emotions / wants / needs:
i. I want kindness
ii. I want empathy
iii. I do not want to be talked down upon
iv. I do not want them to overreact.
v. I do not want to feel like I have to defend myself
3. Being held responsible for things that you have no control over
a. Be mindful of my limitations
b. Give credit where credit is due (recognition)
c. Providing reassurance
4. Being spread too thin – Emotionally
a. Emotionally fragile
b. I do not know how to be nice to myself
c. I am too empathetic.
i. I am more sensitive to other people’s emotions than my own
5. Afraid to stand up for how I feel / being able to express feelings without fear
a. I am afraid because:
i. People make me feel like the stuff I am asking / wanting is unreasonable
1. Love, marriage, independence, and my own family
ii. Everything does not need to be an argument
1. List to both sides – come to a compromise
b. Encourage me to want things for myself
i. Encourage me too not be too hard on myself
ii. Encourage me to relax and breath
6. Repressed emotions
a. I want to be encourage to be a loving person and encourage to share that
i. Work on expressing good energy
ii. I want help expressing this emotion / good energy in an appropriate way
b. I am afraid to show appreciation and fondness
i. I want help and encouragement learning how to expressing this
7. Feel like I am being held to a higher standard
a. If you want more from me, I want more from you
b. I am already incredibly tough on myself – some compassion and comfort would help me
I feel like I am alone. Ways to not make me feel alone:
c. I want companionship.
i. In the form of a friendship
ii. Talking openly to someone
d. Supporting my goals
e. Wanting the best for me
f. Ask me what I want
g. Respecting my wants
h. Wanting what I want; not what you want
i. Acknowledgement and validation
j. Want to be comforted- empathy
k. Kindness
l. Being softer in nature
m. Reciprocal effort
n. I am not a mind reader: be explicit about what they want
i. Write down what they want
ii. Actionable list of their expectations of you
1. Daily / weekly / monthly (potentially)
Table Topic
04/30/2021
This week, I’ll tell you more about what I want in life. Maybe that will help me iron some things out too. Let’s see. Does me wanting to be a father and husband sound inappropriate to you guys? Anybody else here want to be a “contributing member of society,” own a home, raise a family or anything else like that?
Personally, I’ve always wanted to be a dad. Getting my home in my name one day would awesome. Two, maybe 3 kids, a cat, a dog, I’m smiling from ear to ear, just writing these things down. I want to support and be everything a woman could ask for. “Husband a Father of the year” sounds nice doesn’t it?
When I see Mrs. Keech and I waking up in the morning, I see kids sleeping with mom and dad, I hear the furnace that needs kicked, birds are on our window sill, family and friends will work on mutual goals, a garden or a sprinkler set for the herd of kids roaming the neighborhood.. it’ll be a community of love.
CEQ: Do you have any big goals people think are too lofty?
OEQ: How do you see your mornings starting 5 to 10 years down the road?
