Hey Rafiki,


Next time I tell you I love you, take it to the bank. By the time you open your eyes to my outpouring of love, I’ll have gotten so much heat they’ll chase me into a cage.

You know I’ve loved you since day one. I’m not as afraid saying that now because I haven’t reached out in a while. I haven’t been misdirected by pops, ma hasn’t berated me on the phone, my nightmares about D have dissipated, the list goes on.

I’m still hoping. I’ve been scared. I wish you would have asked me if I was scared instead of or before asking me if I loved you.

I got it out for the day. I have climbing tonight. Meet me there! (Try holding my hand). Thanks for keeping me moving and smiling, baby.

This week, I got some hw in therapy to draft a story about Zack and his crush on an old friend named Myla.

I look forward to TAKING THIS BULL BY THE HORNS AND REDIRECTING IT AT LEAST all while discovering more about myself and working through my issues.

Fiction Story:

1. Meet again at a class reunion (10 year)

2.     Main Character (Zack)

a.     Gotten into an accident after graduation and is in a wheelchair

b.     Lack of confidence

c.     The guy is self-conscious

d.     Afraid to rely on people

3.     Main Character (Mila)

a.     Works for the school in the hometown as a teacher (English- Poetry)

b.     Very soft spoken

c.     Self-conscious

d.     Loves to sing

4.     Antagonist (Shelly)

a.     Secretary at the school (attendance)

b.     Zack’s sister and overprotective

c.     She does not like Mila from working together

5. Big conflict: Zack a lot of anxiety being around people after the accident. Mila is going to try to help him overcome this conflict. Zack is going to push her away.

6.     How: Mila is going to help Zack by teaching him how to express emotions / feelings through writing and poetry.

7.     End Goal: Not a happy ending- Mila does help him recover but they can’t be together.

a.     Shelly does not like Mila

b.     She teaches him about hope

Homework:

Think of 3 small conflicts the two (or one) main characters could encounter (ex: can’t decide where to eat, Zack doesn’t know if he should ask Mila out to dinner, etc.). For each conflict, think of three resolutions or course of action and the possible outcome for each of the resolutions.

I. Intro (draft)

“I’m not going to tell you again, Zack! Get up for school!” “Okay MOM!” Zack heads to the shower.

He eats next, lifts then writes. “Okay Journal, lemme ignite your pages with the touch of my pen..”Lemme prevail by documenting each detail of my life.Lemme pull out each little lady’s chair while I stare at the AC powered lamp catching MY glare.

”I’m nothing but perfection because I actually freakin work at it! I’m more than okay forcing myself to let her go. I hate nothing. Loving people outloud to them anyway is frowned upon by unmindful people.” I BRUSH ‘EM OFF because I deal with enough crap w/ people I can’t even get ahold off. That’s not cool man!”


Stop buggin’ me! Please! This is just a drafted pdf. We don’t need a ref. Do we?Lately, Zack has been learning how to put a cozier, more respectful face on On this particular morning he completed his ADL’s in reverse. He ordered himself to follow through with completing everything on his to-do list.

Meditate on this. He decides to roll the closest piece of lined paper into an incense burner. He scribbles down, “Today I feel pretty good. I want the world to know that my heart beats twice as fast. It’s called a murmur.”
Time to meet up with graduating class, celebrate. Don’t just tolerate, encourage. Thanks.

II. Chapter 1
1st conflict…

That coming Monday…

“I’m a drama queen huh!?”

Zack poured with tears waking up this morning. He constantly thinks he sucks. “Is giving her everything she asks for not enough?” “Is it my fault I can only talk to her and work on building trust around her schedule?”

Zack makes his bed and eats egg whites. He raises his left fist over his head hearing the theme song to Rocky playing in his head.

Zack constantly works on everything in his power to step up his game at all times. He wishes he could show people how he uses any and all energy piled up before him

“Maybe if I send her hand written notes she’ll sense my sincerity.. maybe a bouquet of roses..”

Zack likes how proactive he is. He looks up the address of the local farm she insisted was her home and jots down the info. His best handwriting is a mix of chicken scratch and cursive.

He orders and pushes send on the link to get discounted carnations delivered to her. He nearly passed out breathing so fast before confirming his order in his inbox.

Hours, days and weeks go by. He learned to Hope for the best and let things go.

1. Small Conflicts

Myla,
It’s Zack. Don’t stress out. I’m here for you. This counts as my best attempt to put how I feel into a song. Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye. That’s fine. I put my earnest best effort in daily to empathize with the thoughts of you. I naturally bet against myself daily considering catalogued stats. 🎶

https://rapch.at/2Jn5MceMkbbhttps://rapch.at/2Jn5MceMkbb

a.     Doesn’t know if he should or how to ask her to hang out / on a date

i. Texts her and asks her to hang out

1.     She says yes

a.     But it could be as friends

b.     She’s interested in him

c.     She’s free during that time

d.     She says yes just to be nice

2.     She says no

a.     With someone else

b.     Busy schedule

c.     Doesn’t feel comfortable

d.     Trying to hide her real feelings

e.     She’s not interested

ii. Not ask her

1. Dwell / regret on it for not asking her

2.     Gets mad at Mila

3.     Remain friends and not ruin a relationship

4.     Mila could ask Zack

b.     Zack does not drive

i. Ask for ride

1.     Outcome (Positive)

2.     Outcome (Negative)

ii. Make plans ahead of time

1.     Outcome (Positive)

2.     Outcome (Negative)

1.     Outcome (Positive)

iii. Stays home

2.     Outcome (Negative)

B. Zack does not drive
i. Asks for a ride.
1. POSITIVE OUTCOME: Finds a ride he can trust
2. NEGATIVE OUTCOME: Stranded with no ride
ii. Fails to plan. Does not ask for a ride.
1. POSITIVE OUTCOME: Stays home, humbles himself
2. NEGATIVE OUTCOME: Stranded with no ride, gets upset

https://rapch.at/zhOz8zqLkbbhttps://rapch.at/zhOz8zqLkbb

Zack finds himself optimistic even when he’s alone anymore. He tells himself to Keep Hoping stars align one day.

As mentioned, Zack eats like a lumberjack daily. He runs off the pounds on his treadmill. His abs even are chiseled. The rod in his back limits his crunching movements but as he learned in sports, six inches really targets his midsection.

He finds himself thinking about the positive nature of his thoughts. He smiles wider and wider every day.

To: MYLA From: ZACK

https://youtu.be/pOSc2LrrdlU

Myla, I’m glad we are so open with each other. Every morning anymore I wake up practically sobbing. I want so bad to feel more comfortable with you and others around us.

You could be a doll and try to reassure me sometimes ya know. Maybe hold my hand? Not having a way to communicate, get close or even relaxed in the same room as you is especially draining on my emotions. .

I’m afraid. I’ve never gotten so close to a girl that others are trippin about me screwing up before I even tried anything.

Look at me thinking I would actually “try something!” My eyes are welling as I think about you. Videos of you singing love songs are something I wish I got in my inbox. Just something that let me know you care for me as much as I care for you, or that you would want to explore our potential would be everything and then some

A Little Ditty page

11/15/2020

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