Hey “Friend,”


Don’t worry, this is NOT for you. You let me know that is a taboo word in your world. Now, before we sever ties completely, I do want to unlock a few frustrations I’ve bitten my lip on for years it feels like..

Your whole company from my POV Is f#cking crazy and on their period. (I’d run for your life if I were you)

Nobody is on the same page. They don’t communicate and they take everything out of context to cause me, yes me specifically a lot of mother f#cking stress. It’s not f#cking worth it.

Look at this featured picture. I’m currently on nerve pills trying to bounce back from the emotional beat down I smiled through.

Most recent instance of havoc may be more my fault finally but it’s not my fault certain people refused to read my heartfelt pleas for compassion and support. I can guarantee you I have more issues now than I had when I put my pride aside and thought maybe I could use a refresher on some cognitive levels.

Stress! That’s the one word that some special individual MAY HAVE picked up on.

After following her instructions and compartmentalizing my influences, she must have shut her eyes to, I thought she would be especially proud of my censorship. I upped her game week in and week out. She senses a hint of disapproval and quits everything as far as I know. She threw me to the lions at the very end I think. BRUSHES MY SHOULDER!

Now, hearing this Monday would have been our last session together leads me to think she doesn’t want to talk things out either. That’s fine. I’d rather not meet with you guys on zoom and be talked down to for following guidance so no I don’t want to keep that appointment. I’ll look forward to meeting with my caring therapist this Wednesday then every Monday and Wednesday until you find a replacement. Thanks! Kyle

Me waving goodbye.

I can play the UNSTABLE, VICTIM CARD, too!

Yea, teach me about “Toxic Relationships,” I’m afraid to ask all y’all questions.

Also, for all the sh!t y’all busted on me for letting my feelings interfere with our work together, let me guess.. You’re offended I didn’t consider your feelings, right!?

(If you’re stressing me out, ima cut you off)

Unlike half the people in my life I’m not getting paid to deal with stressers.

Want to feel valued? Let me know I’m valued. Thanks! I’d rather not kiss slacker-ass. Stress is negative energy. I’m not interested in negative energy. While working with these individuals I’ve been more open and receptive than ALL OF THEM COMBINED.

I’m ready to be assured I have nothing to fear and am supported in my recovery. Also, please stop trying to make me feel bad for you holding me to higher standards than others.

So it’s ok with you I’m scared to reach out? It’s ok I know I won’t get a response to an email if I ask you questions? Not trusting you is on me?

The reason I feel I need to prove myself all the time is because I constantly feel attacked for doing me as hard as I can.

Ya, I’m at fault for these girls drooling over me.. I’ll take that one. #muscles

Yes, I feel threatened 9 times out of 10 when I’m with my “support,” Loss of services, security and more scares me. It’s frustrating when I’m over here killing myself day in and day out, then getting the short end of the stick or feeling like I do more often than not.

A HUGE ROOT to my insecurities is being damned for be the sweetest, most vulnerable “sexy” version of myself I can be.

Why am I the only one that needs to be TRANSPARENT? I admire integrity.

Stop hiding things from me please. Tell the truth maybe and offer a shoulder from time to time please. I am doing laps around most people yet I owe them everything huh? I’d like to see how much further I’d get if some people put an ounce of additional energy into what they’re here to help me with.

People say if you need help ask, I’ve been on my knees for years. That’s being proactive. It’s really hard to give more than 100% honesty, effort and mind body and soul. I’ve been afraid of these therapists, aides, case coordinators and alike from the jump. I’ve kept the trustworthy ones around.

I’d LOVE guaranteed room for error. I’d LOVE a spot. You can’t expect me to be as tough as nails and then complain I’m too hard headed.

Yes, it may “not be your job” to offer emotional support but who in the world needs to be paid to speak softly, offer moral support and let people know you’re not dead inside?

Even if it’s a lie, tell me you care. Tell me not to worry. Tell me I’m safe, please.

So, when I’m insensitive I get reprimanded. When you are, you get paid, hmmm.

All I do is WIN. IF YOU’RE NOT IN MY LANE, you’re either A DISTRACTION OR DRAMA.

Just to be sure it’s stated, if you’re “a stressor” I have no problem grouping you with and talking to you like the rest of the stressors in my life.

If I don’t feel safe contacting you, I will work on building enough confidence that I can on my own but will most likely need a hand. (This is where I’m at now)

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