Good morning 08/31/20

Today’s Plan:

Meal Prep: Step 1 (get food out!)

Today’s emotions:

Dear Bums.
I know, I know, I’ve called you everything from “antagonists,” to “T***” to “Aunt S*****,” to “N*****,” to “Gras…..”
Proceed with caution reading, please. Do not feel the blood boiling under your skin, do not start breathing heavy, do not clench your fists.
Did you guys ever pick up on how I deal with people I can not rely on for a stable influence???? I cut them off, as executively as possible. I know I have no control in my care. That’s a shame. If I did, believe me your checks would have a different return address on them. No, I am not “off my rocker,” terribly misquoting myself, ashamed this is how I stand up for myself. I am airing out grievances and constructively critiquing my supports to get better results.

Teach me a bit more about how you practice empathy please. Are you considering all parties? Are you woefully misguided and taking your frustrations out on good people?
I hope you practice what you preach. I hope yelling and raising your voice is not actually you being mindful. I hope you start kissing butt before you get hit with the hammer! Or… just keep everything the same and make me feel like I have to coddle you, be the bigger person, let all the SHIT you manifest go.
I’m doing well so just let me know so I can focus on what I need to. Thanks!

Girls…sorry I was raised to expect endless amounts of pushback and grief. I was used to having my walls erected and I hurled misplaced daggers at you thinking you’d put me in my place. Thanks for listening.

Also, I have little issue stating I don’t feel bad feeling I need to look in shady places to get an ounce of comfort, affection, confidence and love. Y’all made it known I have no business even looking at every single person I know in person. I repeat, I cradle my knees in hesitation even thinking about things or people that make me feel good about myself.


Banana Pancakes: Step 1
Added some protein



“Today, I woke up re-examining my stance on trusting individuals. I will admit my words often exemplify hesitations more than they do courage. I am proud that I have and will continue to work to build others up. Sometimes I need that blind support too. So, anyone wanting companionship from me, ought to try assuring me that I’m not alone. Leaving me guessing does not boost my confidence.”


As of 09/02/2020, my current therapist, her establishment and my counselor are all on the same page when it comes to my creative, train of thought style of writing. Using aliases is now encouraged! (I think they see the progress, too!)


Lunchtime FEAT:
In under 20 minutes, I fixed myself a sloppy joe in a hotdog roll and an iced coffee for lunch, independently!





In all seriousness..

Stop getting butthurt over the use of cute words, you lemons!


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