Dead and gone

Hey Magpiiiiieeee,

You almost had me this morning. I almost went down a dark alley. I almost stayed in the rut. I almost forgot I gotta trim this morning’s gym session to 45 minutes because I got some less-than-mediocre attendants watching me therapeutic-alize myself at 11.
I heard yesterday my go-to’s are becoming common vocab for Neanderthals. I’m allowed to throw rocks in my bubble. Something keen to identify this morning is that one-way communication does not promote trust. I called your home phone dozens of times, I got warned “Leave my daughter alone!!!”

One cup of coffee is all I need anymore. These trees bleed sap and I get stuck melting under the sun. Yeah, I won in my head. You’re not by my side, but that’s what she said. Today, I’ll intentionally avoid proofreading this post to shed some light on mmmmmmy dangerous thought processes. My metacognition is off the charts, doing circles around the doctors who prescribe death sentences with each pill bottle they decide to prescribe.

Write books about the beauty and the beast please. That’s you and me. I got this!!! These days, I’m afraid to even write creatively with other people in the house. They judge, prejudge and hate on my output until they see me setting records, daily!

PostLift 08/24
Treadmill for 5 minutes
100+ Leg Extensions 25-40 lbs.
100+ Hamstring Curls 25-40 lbs.
Sets of 20 on Fixed Shoulder Pulldowns
Sets of 30 on Bicep Curls 25-45 lbs.
Sets of 30 on Tricep Extensions 25-40 lbs.

Air ‘em out, air ‘em out…
Verbal confrontation was the original title of this piece. I’m really HOPING this output helps me LET GO of a few lingering feelings of devastation and feeling let out in the cold.

Dammit, bet I will do what I can to record myself reading this post a bit later
Girl(s), I’m so sorry I was not made comfortable and felt accused of unspeakable acts simply looking at you. That really had me biting my tongue for months. I was rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful because I felt attacked.
I wiped the slate clean there so hopefully those nagging fears start leaving me alone. Talk about ruminations…

I was encouraged to embrace vulnerability. I did that the best I could and then I was abandoned on the ledge to fend for myself while people in authority hurled accusations. It’s not even 10 in the morning Sunday morning and I’m sitting on the side of my bed in my skivvies. Like I said, I handled that and work to get over that headache every single morning.

Next, I’d like to address those I’m still shaking in fear talking to. Go ahead, take the pay. Try adding to my emotional security a bit too please. I do not feel comfortable with certain people word for word seeming exactly like girlS from an app. Be on different pages once, never hear from them again except for the one chance you get to ball out or studder-step and mess up ONCE… we took turns breaking each other’s heart. It’s not my fault you strayed from the pattern practiced month after month. Thanks


Each over 100 reps:

Leg Extensions

Hamstring Curls

Chest Press

Fixed Pulldowns

Hip Abduction

Hip Adduction

Lateral Raises

5 minutes on the treadmill.


At 6:15p, I ate a dish of ice cream with PROTEIN in it and did 5 sets of 20 curls with the 15’s!



Hey Chickey!


1 comment

  • Steve Keech

    Poetry & creativity acknowledged , better messaging. More positives inspirationals please

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