At least I’m consistent.
Consistently unstable? Sometimes. Fall in line. I’m setting record after record measuring and analyzing personal muscle growth. Oh! You didn’t pick up on progress being the goal? I may have not verbally explained that the minute before you split but I admitted to my flaws, insecurities, and weaknesses daily on this template. Did you not read them inside and out? Did you want me to turn you around trying to be more mindful and open? Did I not assure you comfort was present? Were you scared not being filled up on my blood, sweat and tears? I covered my hesitations yesterday so cite them in that recent post to the public next time you feel I’m throwing missiles and bombs to blow you up. FMFMH. (7:19a 07/01/2020)
I have 3 more hours of telehealth therapy today to up my mental intuitiveness game! Don’t sweat it being with workers from the establishment I flame constantly. I’m too busy getting mine to look back and jeopardize these gains.
The only small things around here are the goals I set daily, obliterate and consequently lose food stamps proving independence over.
At least that’s one of my only hacks. I giggle laughing at those who try to guilt trip me. You’re going to go out of your way to see me because I don’t drive, if you want to see me. And that’s why I check the time before I set them high.
I told them I hide my heart but feel at the same time. That is exactly why I’m so f#cked up. (Looking at those managers, case workers and specialists really hard rn!)
I sigh thinking oh not this again. Twisted. The arrangement we often poked at and tested with stares got YOU in trouble.
My game is a shame on wheels, ridicule is my appeal. You need to file a repeal of your stats. Then get MY adl’s flowing knowing they’re getting done. Won means I’m number one. Done.
Point and case: perfect example:
(Me, emailing THE ESTABLISHMENT 45 minutes before session time letting them know I’m online)
(Them letting me know they’re busy until 10 of start time)
(Me confirming)
(Them TEXTING ME after start time to let me know THEIR servers have been down all day)
ALSO..
TIP:
Go ahead and start addressing two people or more people at once if you ever start to fear retribution. They won’t be able to call you out if you’re “not referring to them!”
(This is an AB conversation, C yourself out of it)
Ok! Maybe I should have said I want to trust you more. Let’s talk things out. Oops!
ONE THING I LOVE is individuals holding me accountable for their inconsistencies.
Yes, I consider staying on top of your emails a priority. Yes, I consider all on your team being on the same page, a priority. Yes, I consider not leaving clients clueless more than not, a huge problem.
Yes, all these one sided views, I feel are the roots to my list of insecurities. Bye.
